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Thread of good Jokes

Discussion in 'Offtopic' started by 09jnewington, Oct 15, 2011.

  1. i dont get it..
  2. Everdras Bit Shifter

    Why did the Java programmer run into a wall?

    Answer:[Because he couldn't C.]
  3. Lol

    What do you call a quadriplegic in a swimming pool?

    Bob.
  4. What do you call a lawyer's wife?

    Sue.
  5. this one is popular. (works better when you hear it so be sure to say the answers aloud to yourself)

    what do you call a deer with no eyes?
    no idea
    what do you call a deer wit no eyes and no legs?
    still, no idea
    what do you call a decapitated deer with no eyes and legs?
    still no bl**dy idea
  6. Modedit: *ahem* while not sure of the actual ramifications of my legal qualities to do this, I still think it's a good idea to remove this, in the interest of making it more "family friendly". Here's a nice little message that you could have left, Auhjos!

    Wow, those are really nice jokes! I wish I had a sense of humor like you and Mcon!
  7. Two hunters are in the woods, all of a sudden on falls down and starts breathing. The other whips out his phone and calls 911 and says,"Help, i think my friend is dead". The nurse says, "ok, first let's make sure he's dead". The hunter goes away from the call and a gunshot is heard in the back. The hunter then comes back and says,"ok, now what?"
    :lol: :lol: :lol:
  8. Lol!

    nice one.

    for the life of me, I can't remember a really good joke I had...
  9. A dyslexic man walked into a bra.
  10. I remembered!

    Okay, so....

    A rope walked into a cantina, and took a seat at the bar. The bartender, being busy, didn't notice him for a few minutes. When he did, he came over and said, "Aren't you a rope?" The rope answered, "Why, yes, I am." The bartender said, "Get on out of here, then. We don't serve ropes." The rope walked out.

    The next day, the rope walked back into the cantina, and took a seat at the bar. The bartender, being busy again, didn't see him for a while. When he caught a glimpse of him, he walked over and said, "Aren't you a rope?" The rope answered, "Why, yes, I am." The bartender said, "Get on out of here, then. We don't serve ropes." The rope walked out.

    The next day, the rope walked back into the bar, and the same thing happened.

    On the fourth day, the rope stopped outside the bar. He decided to try something different. So, he grabbed ahold of each of his ends, and moved this way, and that way, and then some. After that was done, he started to pull at himself, and at each end. When he finished, he walked into the cantina and sat down at the bar.

    The bartender, yet again busy, didn't see him for awhile. When he caught a glimpse of the rope, he walked over to him, and said, "Aren't you a rope?" And the rope replied, "Sorry, I'm a frayed knot."
  11. A horse walkes into a bar and the bartender says "we don't get many horses in here" and the horse replied, "At these prices, I'm not surprised"
  12. Man walks into a bar
    Says ouch.
  13. Which one was funny?
  14. Mostly that second one!

    But I liked them both.
    Did you get mine? A frayed knot, afraid not?
  15. oh ok
    I get it now
  16. steven hawking walks in to a bar :D
  17. Who is Steven Hawking?
  18. Steven Hawking is a scientisit that is cripped and hooked up to a robotic wheelchair
  19. Then how does he walk into the bar?