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Thread of good Jokes

Discussion in 'Offtopic' started by 09jnewington, Oct 15, 2011.

  1. Maybe the clerk was stupid...
  2. No, the man was stupid for taking 15 when he had left 20. The clerk was getting robbed!
  3. No, but the clerk agreed to change the $20 into smaller change. Which means he originally had an amount in excess of $20, not $15.
  4. Oh yea... I missed that :p
    Derp
  5. If electricity is governed by electrons, what is morality governed by? Morons?
  6. If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?
  7. If poli means many, and tics are blood sucking creatures, what does politics mean?
  8. Good ones....
  9. I always try to go the extra mile at school. But my teachers always find me and bring me back :(
  10. Jokes!

    Q: How do you get a giraffe in your fridge?
    A: You open the door and stuff him in.

    Q: How do you get an elephant in your fridge?
    A: You open the door, take out the giraffe, and put the elephant in.

    Q: How do you get down off an elephant?
    A: You don't, you get down off a duck. (down feathers)

    Q: Why do elephants paint their toe nails red?
    A: So they can hide in the strawberry patch. How do I know I'm right? Well, have you ever seen an elephant in a strawberry patch?

    Lol, just my store of good elephant jokes. There were a few more once, but I forgot them by now.
  11. I always go the extra mile at work! But my boss always finds me and brings me back...
  12. Gee, that sounds just like a joke you said a few days ago...
  13. Oh, sorry... :(
    auhjos has failed

    By the way, if sign makers go on strike... is anything written on their signs?
  14. And why did they call it Rhode Island? It's not a road or an island.

    Why do we drive on a parkway, and park on a driveway?

    We do we buy rolls in packs of ten, but hot dogs in packs of eight?

    The list goes on...
  15. Why does wise man and wise guy mean opposites?

    If vegetable oil comes from vegetables, where does baby oil come from?

    What happens if I put an irresistible force in front of an unmovable object?

  16. LOOL i sped read this and mixed up the lines so i saw " what happens if i put an irresistable force in front of baby oil?"
  17. My favriote! oxymorons! yaay

    Act naturally

    Happily married

    Microsoft Works

    Holy war

    Found missing

    Resident alien

    Minor Catastrophe

    Affordable housing

    Near miss

    Great depression

    Canadian army

    Phone sex

    United nations

    Advanced BASIC

    Genuine imitation

    Death benefits

    Airline Food

    Women's rights

    Good grief

    Same difference

    Almost exactly

    Sensitive man

    Government organization

    Everything except

    Civil War

    Good kid

    Sanitary landfill

    Alone together

    Legally drunk

    Silent scream

    British fashion

    Living dead

    Small crowd

    Business ethics

    Soft rock

    Butt Head

    Military Intelligence

    Software documentation

    New York culture

    New classic

    Sweet sorrow

    Childproof

    "Now, then"

    Synthetic natural gas

    Christian Scientists

    Passive aggressive

    Taped live

    Clearly misunderstood

    Peace force

    Extinct Life

    Temporary tax increase

    New and improved

    Computer jock

    Plastic glasses

    Terribly pleased

    Computer security

    Political science

    Tight slacks

    Definite maybe

    Pretty ugly

    Twelve-ounce pound cake

    Diet ice cream

    Rap music

    Working vacation

    Exact estimate

    Religious tolerance

    Freezer Burn

    Honest Politician

    Jumbo Shrimp

    Loners Club

    Postal Service


    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------
  18. Just kinda glanced through some of these, but I didn't see this one:

    Politically correct
    The biggest one yet.


    I have an issue with this, though:
    Christian Scientists

    Why exactly is that an oxymoron, please do tell?
  19. Well, to be honest, i copied and pasted that from a webpage, and didnt read them all, mcon^^

    But if i were to guess, i'd say it is that christians are assumed to be creationists and not avid believers or evolution, and scientists are the oposite.
    that may be a little bit of a stereotype, in fact its in most cases wrong, but, meh, I didnt write it